I Vote

Today is the polling day for Loksabha Election in Delhi. Even less than an hour is left for the clock to struck 5 and i have still not cast my vote. Am about to leave. Hope to make a good choice. This is my first vote for Loksabha candidate.. have studied little abt the candidate and i think i know who i will vote for. Ours is the only reserved Loksabha constituency in Delhi. Reserved for SC/ST candidate I think. I have seen almost zilch campaigning here where i live this time. There has been more of campaigning for people to vote than about which party to vote for.

I gtgo.

It is high time. Will finish this post as i come. Happy Voting

Random mumblings

Emotions.. why do they loom large over all of us? Those of us who are in touch with our spiritual side as well as those who just touch the surface, never taking the plunge. I keep diving in the abyss of good old thinking about life. I keep doing that.. reading people.. trying to picture life on a chessboard and trying to place people, situations in on it.. trying to see from up above.. trying to know why where what. 

I wish things were different. I wish my life was fuller, happier and greener. The plant of life has withered away.. no leaves, no fruit just a dried bush. (Too many metaphors?) This does not mean I don’t value what I have.. 

I want to be happy again. How did it feel? Do I remember? I hate it if/when someone calls me a pessimist.. I think I'm not, but I won't plead my case.. I have been told it is important to do it..so i am trying these days.

Pessimist is one who can't see the greener pastures even if they are there; Optimist is one who thinks he is on the greenest patch, Realist is one who realises there are better grasslands when he misses softer grass and tries to do something to make better this one?; Dreamer the one who wants the perfect meadow, complete with the horse and the hound.. rain and the cloud..with a stream nearby and the gushing sound. I think Realistic and Dreamer have a purpose..the other two are pitiable but yes, they are happier. (btw what happens if you switch the analogies for the Pessimist and the Optimist above? They still fit perfectly don't they? Same difference.)

Is dreaming too bad? They say you should dream but when you do what happens? Nothing really, till you channel your dream into actions and conviction that it can be done. And even if it leaves you saddened, don't give up as long as the rein is in your hands cz dreaming is the next best thing to achieving. 

Most successful people are those who sell dreams, the most lauded bunch of words are those that motivate you to dream (remember, "I have a dream"- speech or "You can win"); the most enjoyable moments of our lives are when a dream comes true. However tiny-winy it maybe. Even if it’s of the same ilk as eating an icecream at midnight.

But let’s be honest, dreaming is very very dangerous too. 

 

diary 1

Since many days i have been wanting..yearning in fact to write here..about how i am feeling and my life in general..like many people do in their blogs but each time, i caught myself just in time. Whatever i wrote wasn't posted. There were reasons for this. The first thing that stopped me was hesitation of opening up my heart to the world..there are people i know who would read it and there are those who i thought would feel "why would we wanna read abt this person"..

Another fear was that since i have been down almost all of the past few months..gloom filled my life. And anyway even if i were happy humans are such that pain leaves its scars while happiness just flows by..like a stream.. like a dream.. ( Is it this what makes happiness such a sought after state of being? ) Being an optimist at heart but also someone driven by emotions, it came like a dilemma to me. Either i could be true to myself or I could be someone who writes about positive things in life so that i don't add to the negativity around me and so i am reminded of my blessings. Now if I were to be honest, I would be again exposing my innermost turbulence and at the same time I thought such suicidal mentations are to be kept to oneself. So..if not something depressing then what would I write? I believe a writer's pen (alright, keypad) somewhere somehow does share a resonance with her state of mind. And if i were to follow the latter option, that is, to be someone who writes about positive things in life, i would be lying to my self... 

Today i shed all those fears.

1. I should not care who reads.. even if these are people I know, I will be me in the end, and if it gets too much I would do something about it (i should be good at it.. i changed my phone number twice in 2 years)

2. I would be true to me..and not stuff my emotions in the recesses of my mind. Na.. negativity is bad when inside.. and good when shared or when given a vent to go out.. it is like water.. it evaporates perhaps.. i don't know.. but I choose to be honest here. I don't have to put up a face for not wanting to be a cry baby. Happy or sad this is me. I am sure writing here would act like therapy.

3. Lastly and most importantly--I like this blog of mine. A place to call my own.

By Anonymous

This one is by anonymous.. would love to know who is behind it..I tried to find out but couldn't. I really connect with this one.

Mat kaho aakash mein kohra ghana hai
ye kisi ki vyaktigat aalochna hai

Surya humne bhi nahi dekha subeh se
kya karoge surya ka kya dekhna hai

Is sadak par is qadar keechad bichi hai
har kisi ka paon ghutno tak sana hai

Paksh aur vipaksh sansad mein miukhar hain
baat itni hai ki koi pul bana hai

Rakt varshon se naso mein khaultaa hai
aap kehte hain kshnik uttejna hai

Ho gayi har ghaat par puri vyavstha
shauk se doobe jise bhi doobna hai

Doston! ab manch par suvidha nahi hai
aaj kal nepathya mein sambhawna hai

Poorva Chalne Ke Batohi..

Another one by Harivansh Rai Bachchan.. reading him one realises what classics are made of. The stanzas in bold..these i remember from class eighth..and they struck a chord somewhere.. and it was only sometime back that i was able to retrieve the whole of the poem with the help of these words.

Poorva chalne ke batohi, 
baat ki pehchaan kar le 


Pustako mein hai nahi 
Chhapi gayi iski kahani. 
Haal iska gynat hota Hai 
na auro ki zubaani. 


Anginat raahi gaye 
Is raah se, unkaa pataa kyaa? 
Par gaye kucch log is par 
Chhod pairo ki nishaani.


Yeh nishaani mook hokar 
Bhi bahut kuch bolti hai. 
Khol iskaa arth panthi 
Path ka anumaan kar le.


Poorva chalne ke batohi, 
baat ki pehchaan kar le.


Yeh buraa hai yaa ki accha 
Vyarth din is par bitaana, 
Ab asambhav chhod yeh path 
Doosre par pag badhaana. 


Tu ise accha samajh, 
Yatra saral isse banegi. 
Soch mat keval tujhe hi 
Yeh padaa man mei bitana


Har safal panthi yahi 
Vishvaas le is par badhaa hai 
Tu isi par aaj apne 
Chit ka avdhaan kar le.


Poorva chalne ke batohi, 
baat ki pehchaan kar le.


Hai anishchit kis jagah par 
Sarit, giri, gahvar milenge
Hai anishchit kis jagah par
Baag ban sundar milenge


Kis jagah yatra khatam ho
Jayegi yeh bhi anishchit 
Hai anishchit kab suman kab 
Kantako ke shar milenge, 


Kaun sahasaa choot jayenge, 
Milienge kaun sahasaa. 
Aa pade kuch bhi, rookegaa 
Tu na, aisi aan kar le

Swapna aata hai sukhon ka 

driga korkon mein deepti aati 

pankh kag jaatey pagon ko 

lalakti unmukt chaati

raste ka ek kaanta 
paon ka dil cheer deta
rakt ki do boond girti 
ek duniya doob jati 


aankh mein ho swapna lekin 
paaon prithvi par tikey hon 
kantakon ki is anokhi 
seekh ka sammaan karle 


Poorva chalne ke batohi, 
baat ki pehchaan karle

Jo Beet Gayi So Baat Gayi

Sharing some of my favourite hindi poems in a series. This one is by Harivansh Rai Bachchan.. you must have read it before

Jo Beet Gayi So Baat Gayi


Jeevan mein ek sitara tha
Maana woh behad pyara tha
Woh doob gaya to doob gaya
Ambar ke aanan ko dekho
Kitne iske tare toote
Kitne iske pyare chhoote
Jo chhoot gaye phir kahan mile
Par bolo toote taron par
Kab ambar shok manata hai
Jo beet gayi so baat gayi ....

Jeewan mein tha who ek kusum
The us pe nitya nyochawar tum
Wo sookh gaya to sookh gaya
Madhuwan ki chaati ko dekho
Sookhi kitni iski kaliyan
Jo murjhai phir kahan khili
Par bolo sookhe phoolon pe
Kab madhuvan shok manata hai ?

Jo beet gayi so baat gayi

Jeewan mein madhu ka pyala tha
Tumne tan man de daala tha
Woh toot gaya to toot gaya
Madiralay ka aangan dekho
Kitne pyaale hil jaate hain
Gir mitti mein mil jate hain
Jo girte hain kab uthte hain
Par bolo toote pyalon mein 
kab madiralay pachtata hai ?

Jo beet gayi so baat gayi

Mridu mitti ke hain bane huye
Madhu ghat phoota hi kartein hain
Laghu jeewan leke aaye hain
Pyale toota hi karte hain
Phir bhi madiralay ke andar
Madhu ke ghat madhu ke pyale hain
Jo madakta ke mare hain
Wo madhu loota hi karte hain
Wo kachcha peene wala hai
Jiski mamta ghat pyalon par
Jo sachche madhu se jala hua
Kab rota hai chillata hai?

Panther!

Introducing to my blog.. the love of my life! the sparkle of my eyes! It doesn't matter if you have bitten all my shoes atleast once, it doesn't matter that you jump more when Hina comes home than when i do!, it doesn't matter if you do naughty things with maxie, it doesn't matter that you distract me when i'm trying to study!! nothing matters..just that you are you! :)

Will post more pics in time

sath ho kar door hain

pyar hai ya garoor hai

kaash pehle jaan paate

ab ahem se majboor hain

na jaan-na na maan-na

na pyar ko pehchaan-na

ye kya hua aur kab hua

ki hai pada ab haarna

jab jaam tha to piya nahi

jab saath tha to dia nahi

hai hamare paas bahana

samay ne waqt diya nahi

karte gaye tumhari baatein

dil se aur dimag se

dil ne kaha 'ab bas karo'

dimag laga sochne.

rona aise aaya

nadiya rukh mod chali

aansuon ki jhari lagi,

ek duniya doob gayi

Fatal Attraction (Acrostic)

Fool was Dr. Faustus, for who else would

Abet damnation and rot in hell,

Trading his soul for power and mirth

Assisting his own tragic end,

Little could he have predicted,

A fatal attraction would make him pay

Tethered and damned he ended wasted, a

Tale we heard Marlowe say

Remember his words

And never forgo, what's

Considered coveted 

Today, could feel

Intolerable tomorrow, an

Obsession today, left

Neglected tomorrow

For more pls visit : http://acrosticonly.blogspot.com/2009/04/fatal-attraction.html

Friendship Acrostic

Friendship is a

Royal treat,

Insatiable hunger's

Eternal feast

No dress code, just

Don a 

Smile

Happiness will flow like sweet sunshine

Incessant chatter, laughter erupts

Pals for life, it's a lifetime's trust.

------------------------------------------

And this one is dedicated to my sweetest friend Hina.. i love her more than i love me :)..this lallu poem is not even an iota of what our friendship means to me. but now that i penned it down in jest.. i thought i would just as well post it. :)

For years and years

Remarkably we have

Imagined together

Endless dreams

Naive to smart

Duds to chics

Sinfully we have had so much fun

Hina's your name

I'll be there for you,

Promise me the same

For more pls visit: http://acrosticonly.blogspot.com/2009/04/friendship.html

Waqt ka Samvad

Tried my hand at Hindi poetry..sm days back..aise hi:

Abhi aaj hai

kal gaaj hai

yeh waqt ka

samvaad hai

Kal maun hai

kal shunya hai

ab aaj hai

ab satya hai

Ye waqt ki

hi baat hai

abhi aaj hai

kal gaaj hai

----------------

Uttejna

uttar nahi

samvedna se

jaan-na

Sanyam parakh

mushkil bada

paida karein

sneh bhawna

Yeh krodh ik

vinaash hai

ab aaj hai

kal gaaj hai

------------------

beeta samay

bhule chale

kuch seekh kar

fir pag dhare

Aage lagan

mann mein magan

ye roz ki toh

baat hai

abhi aaj hai

kal gaaj hai

yeh waqt ka

samvaad hai

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Expecto Patronum

On the beach she sat. Visual impressions of her life appearing and disappearing in consortium with the waves that played with the shore before her. Tears were flowing easy that evening.. so easy that she barely realised she was crying until she tasted the salinity in her mouth. She didn't take off her glasses.. she didn't wipe off the tears from the sides of her shoulders.. she didn't even move. Every now and then she would squeeze her eyes and heavy drops of tears would come running down .. some wetting her neck, some falling down on the sand on which she was sitting with her arms around her legs.. her favourite position. These were not tears, something inside was telling her, this was the cleansing of her soul. This was required before she could actually move on. 'Pain is important', she told herself. 'Extreme emotions lead you ahead, they teach you and they bring about changes in you. Time of extreme emotions are few but they remain with you. You will have to go through this phase, not once not twice for quite a few times, before you can get in complete control of yourself.'

At a distance not very far from where she sat.. she saw two puppies frolicking about. With their little teeth they were teasing one another, tugging at each others tails, their ears flapping, tiny tongues hanging out. Happy and innocent moves, ever on a look out for the next mischief. There was comfort in their sport, the world of purity in their bright eyes and pure almost inconceivable happiness in their puny tails..aiming towards the sky..as if challenging it. The sight made her cry all the more, it reminded her of her lost innocence. But just then, one of the puppies, that had come quite close to her, realised her presence and as if in a marvelling glance seemed to ask her, "huh? you?"! His little demure face slightly bent towards one side as the tiny ear lobe swung in the air. It looked at her in amazement and with courage came close to her. The pup seemed to be speculating in his mind, "Will she move or not? Is she a toy? Would she hurt me or give me a nice treat?" The little fellow came closer as she extended her hand wanting to touch it. Sceptic that the pup was, he came closer to sniff, but the very next moment hopped back two steps, in a half standing half lying position, a play-with-me posture that is a visual delight for any dog lover. 

A smile broke at last. 

The smears of tears against her skin were still showing but with his playful charade the pup had made a fan. She extended her hand again and made a sound of endearment. The fellow sprinted at her but this time did not scoot off like before. He licked her hand..once twice again and again.. he licked and licked and licked.. she wondered if he has a liking for her hand because of the saline taste of tears on them. She let him lick as much as he wanted. The ticklish feeling was divine. Something some people have never experienced. It felt therapeutic to her dried soul. The other pup soon joined them and in no time she was up and running along the sea side, with the little ones following her excitedly..jumping hopping sprinting.. all so joyfully. The trio made a happy group..her grief drowned in their happiness. What were they celebrating? What made them jump in jubilation for no reason at all? How could she forget her sorrow that seemed almost Brobdingnagian in size? 

I don't have the answers. But happiness be gets happiness. Sorrow will come again and so will happiness from unexpected quarters. Identify happiness and live, that's all she learnt.

For more tales visit tell-a-tale: http://storyteller0001.blogspot.com/2009/04/week-5.html

Pain is Addictive

Programmed to find

Another reason for misery

Inclined to dig, a

Nonchalant mystery

Incredible trait, this

Sadist in all of us

Alluring we find the sweet sensation

Deathly is the clutch

Dependent we become and

Instinctively touch, upon

Collection of memories 

Tidbits of soul

Invitation to join them always allures

Vacation of pain beckons, another

Entertaining painful thought to ponder

Written for Acrostic Only 

rain

I want.

More of this rain

To touch me again

make me feel the wonder

the shudder and the thunder

drops on the ground

the drizzling sound

the earth so warm

a stream is born.

Someplace else

li'l droplets form

a river forlorn.

Me? I'm in daze

skin set ablaze

heart out of cage.

The rain treads

on untouched estate

trespasses my person

out on excursion!

to curves forbidden

to spheres hidden

mocking the rules

unstopped - unchecked

transgressing fearless

wandering on me

and how i love it

Nostalgia (my first Acrostic attempt)

Never ending

Oscillations of this

Swinging mind 

Tearful yet tantalising memories

Augment with time

Longing for a beautiful past or

Grief for a loved one sits stored 

In this nostalgic heart

Abandoned, ignored

Written for Acrostic Only

the more things...

The more things change the more they remain the same.. the more i delve deeper into its meaning the more pragmatic and sensible this theory appears to me.. the more i run away, the closer i find myself. So, why not sit still and as a friend said some time back.. "let things happen" rather than inching forward and 'making' things happen. I belong to the latter group almost since birth i guess.. i don't wait for things to happen, i would rather do them. It's a natural tendency that has landed me in trouble more often than i would have liked.

--------------------

You know there is a belief in Chinese astrology that says that all the people in the world have certain basic characteristics on the basis of which they can be shelved into one or more categories like wood, water, metal, fire or earth. It says all the people generally have all these elements but the most dominating element can be said to be our personality element. I like to have a theory attached to things specially to my behaviour patters.. it is my way of simplifying my life cz otherwise i am an OCD patient when it comes complexifying things in my head. :) and i won't change.

Here's a link to a test which many would find stupid.. i somehow sometimes enjoy doing these things..am not a believer though, just like to play around. If u want you can try and find out which personality trait you are.. click:  http://lotusinstitute.com/5ElementsQuiz.html

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I wanna write a lot of things but don't want many people to read. Will find a solution to this soon.

madness

what i want i dont get

what i get i dont want

in this rigmarole of giving receiving

and constant expectation

happiness has gone missing

wud a call make me happy?

or is it smthing deep i desire

why do i feel im having to hold on

clutching smthing that isnt there

just so that this moment passes

and i realise that the time is gone

fooling screaming shouting inside

smiling loving accepting at fore

you be yourself all the time

but was it you, were you like this before?

why expect whats not there

why i want to share it all?

i dont get pleasure diary

all i seem to find is pain

i want to be thankful

but inside im insane

im not ready to ask

no no no no no no no 

i dont want to ask

and to get smthing that way

i want to be honest

and to be my best

i manage to be good 

but what about the rest

its not about me, 

im not to blame

i should make the efforts 

but i cant seem to face

im sad

im sad

i dont want to be this way

this aint a poem

the last thing it is is a song

it is an unrhyming bunch of words

woven together forcefully,

trying to resonate 

my life that makes no sense

to my emotions which run amok 

nor there's any rhyme to this prose

there's not even a name you can give to it

just like you don't name a road that leads no where

i leave it abandoned without a trace