the more things...

The more things change the more they remain the same.. the more i delve deeper into its meaning the more pragmatic and sensible this theory appears to me.. the more i run away, the closer i find myself. So, why not sit still and as a friend said some time back.. "let things happen" rather than inching forward and 'making' things happen. I belong to the latter group almost since birth i guess.. i don't wait for things to happen, i would rather do them. It's a natural tendency that has landed me in trouble more often than i would have liked.

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You know there is a belief in Chinese astrology that says that all the people in the world have certain basic characteristics on the basis of which they can be shelved into one or more categories like wood, water, metal, fire or earth. It says all the people generally have all these elements but the most dominating element can be said to be our personality element. I like to have a theory attached to things specially to my behaviour patters.. it is my way of simplifying my life cz otherwise i am an OCD patient when it comes complexifying things in my head. :) and i won't change.

Here's a link to a test which many would find stupid.. i somehow sometimes enjoy doing these things..am not a believer though, just like to play around. If u want you can try and find out which personality trait you are.. click:  http://lotusinstitute.com/5ElementsQuiz.html

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I wanna write a lot of things but don't want many people to read. Will find a solution to this soon.

madness

what i want i dont get

what i get i dont want

in this rigmarole of giving receiving

and constant expectation

happiness has gone missing

wud a call make me happy?

or is it smthing deep i desire

why do i feel im having to hold on

clutching smthing that isnt there

just so that this moment passes

and i realise that the time is gone

fooling screaming shouting inside

smiling loving accepting at fore

you be yourself all the time

but was it you, were you like this before?

why expect whats not there

why i want to share it all?

i dont get pleasure diary

all i seem to find is pain

i want to be thankful

but inside im insane

im not ready to ask

no no no no no no no 

i dont want to ask

and to get smthing that way

i want to be honest

and to be my best

i manage to be good 

but what about the rest

its not about me, 

im not to blame

i should make the efforts 

but i cant seem to face

im sad

im sad

i dont want to be this way

this aint a poem

the last thing it is is a song

it is an unrhyming bunch of words

woven together forcefully,

trying to resonate 

my life that makes no sense

to my emotions which run amok 

nor there's any rhyme to this prose

there's not even a name you can give to it

just like you don't name a road that leads no where

i leave it abandoned without a trace