The same place that makes one feel free, can turn around and suffocate you under the limitless sky. It is no freedom this when you are not free in will, but led by some vagrant need. Even if the feet that walked thus be yours and the acting hands be yours, until your mind is rendered incapable of thinking 'right'. That's what I mean in an earlier post where I ask ''are we what we do, or are we what we believe in''. I would like to think we are what we believe in, even though we have betrayed us. Actions are not always led by reason. Rather, as much as they are led by reason they are lead by frivolity, boredom, loneliness and such base 'states' we find ourselves in. I am conscientious enough to always be fair, and yet, while talking to my own self, while reflecting upon my own beliefs and actions, I do want to be truthful, so truthful so as to flesh out even the saving grace of my own conscience from me - unmindful of what conclusion my reflections lead me to.
I wish all this to end, drift away. I want to go back to my world, get drowned there if I have to. But just away from this quiet, quiet need, the aftermath of which almost chills my bones.