Sunday, June 21, 2015


The need to get away was never more pronounced. To go away and take with me whatever I can salvage. Some love, some cover, some laughter and a lot of freedom. Oh wait, that is mine, right?

It is surprising how memory works and whether it is talking to us. I often and much more often now than ever before think of London streets. Streets that hold no special memory - shops I just passed by unmindfully at the time are all so clear to me now - yes now - almost 3 years after. Some cupcake shop, some turn, Kingsway, some corner at a busy crossing - none of these holds any meaning for me. Nothing happened there. I walk on those streets even now. Flashes of a quaint streetlight of a busy road, a decrepit wall, an empty street by night, wet tarmac and the reflection of light. And I am transported. I can feel it, smell it, I make an effort to come out of it.

I do not now why these vague memories. Nothing was left unfinished there. There is no real reason too I know. But the memories come and go, pass me by and more often than not I associate them with freedom, or is it longing?

Thursday, June 18, 2015


It was disgusting how I ran when the aftershocks shook Nepal. It was shorn of dignity when I ran each time a big aftershock occurred seeming to claim us all, only to stop suddenly as the earth would become still again. Again and again it happened - and again and again I found myself on my feet, with or without slippers, sometimes in slumber, in the hotel lobby - lunging for the door. My insides revolted for this ignominy the moment the earth would go quiet again. 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

John Steinbeck - Of Mice and Men

"With us it ain't like that. We got a future. We got somebody to talk to that gives a damn about us. We don't have to sit in no bar room blowin' in our jack jus' because we got no place else to go. If them other guys gets in jail they can rot for all anybody gives a damn. But not us."

Lennie broke in. "But not us! An' why? Because… because I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that's why." He laughed delightedly. "Go on now, George!" 

Julian Barnes - The Sense of an Ending