Being home does it to me perhaps. I miss panther more than ever today. I wish i could just see him once..panting, licking his paws, asking for treats, trotting about..trying to hop on the bed, barking till my ear drums would burst to take him for walks, being ever so naughty and giving me great company.. putting his face on my lap and going to sleep.. looking like a frightened kid when I would bathe him.. and then do a jig sloshing soapy water all over me..doing nothing just 'being'.. i miss him so much all the time... of late even missing him had become something beautiful..I was able to achieve something i thought was only meant for poetry and wishful thinking.. the fact that you can actually miss someone and still smile .. the fond memories taking away the pain.. it was magical.. and though I knew the magic wouldn't last.. i knew for sure that it was magic, alright.
I miss him..i just don't know what else to say. I miss him.. very very deeply. :(
Baby, I tried hard not to write to you.. to not enlarge a pic of yours, to teach myself to steer towards those times which were amazing, skipping the reel where you were ill and i was in a constant state of silent subtle panic and fear of you going away. But we can only skip somethings sometimes.. :(
I know it will be fine.. I know for sure you are with me.. and I can still manage to smile as I try so hard to stop me from crying. Been four months I know.. but love is beyond time and place..right? It's even beyond existence.. it's just there..
I just love you so much