Life has been good to me. But saying it loud like this, makes it look like a discount and sound like a haggled bargain. And I hate to bargain. Asking for more seems greedy sometimes. But like everyone else here, I accept my avarice. The more you have the more you want, the more you want, the more you want to keep, the more you get to keep the more you want to better it all. I know the vicious circle too well. It has no beginning and no conclusion, just the odyssey.
Many people carry around this ultimate gospel which doubles up as their answer to everything - "its all about perspective", they say. It makes the incoherent seem simple. The illegible starts to look decipherable. To them. The haze lifts or perhaps they never see the haze. Have I started to sound like a cynic here? I betray myself.
I know the above doesn't make sense to you. I know but still I will say it. I don't want to be in love with what I don't want. I don't want to be in love with what I can't have. I don't want to become the cynic that I am fast becoming. I don't want to learn and unlearn each time that my heart flutters. I don't want to be what I am essentially not. I just hope it's a regular upset.
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I don't friggin' care who reads. Nor do I care what they think. Even if I care, I don't care enough. This is my land.
