I have never felt like this before.
One part of me is hilariously happy – it is deliriously swaying in the kind of happiness that one feels deep inside. It is one of those things which are so precious that you don't even need to share it to complete it.
A part of me is suddenly hopeful. Very very hopeful. Like a quivery flame flickering to life, like a dim hope reignited.. a charged up sound you hear after an age..like a wobbly chair now sitting neat and pretty
And at this very moment, I feel fate is gonna take care of everything. That life is to be lived. And 'lived' is not just a word..it is a tapestry of all the positive energy and rightness we own, in our very veins and blood. Lived means life stayed while time may have clocked by. It is not up to me. So I am relieved of the burden. We do not need to struggle against tides all the time. Foot tapping to a music we do not naturally swing with. It is not worth rowing a rudderless boat just so you know you are alive. You can stop rowing and nothing would have passed you by. You can, sweetie, you can!
Tonight I feel something has been laid to rest. Below the engraved R.I.P, peeking from under the leaves of green-black ivy..the epitaph reads: 'it's okay, baby!".
You know what it all boils down to for me? A simple truth and acknowledgment that we are all Lessons. Lessons, yeah the kind we read in books and are expected to pick up at the end of morality plays.
Lessons wearing jackets and trousers and boots…and we walk around our silly sweet lives. Meeting people. Talking. Dreaming. Sharing. Being. We don't know but all those who we meet.. we share a part of us. They learn, we learn and then .. these lessons learn to co-exist. Give some, receive some and of course, shed some.
People come into our lives, they mess it up and then they leave. They enter as people, and those who exit, exit as lessons. Similarly, we enter people's lives, mess their lives and take a bow.
These lessons make us who we are. These lessons – right from our parents, our siblings, out crushes, our teachers, our mates and our lovers – leave their imprint. We may hate their coming, or we may love their staying, we may cherish or curse each moment spent encountering them - the fact that they leave an inimitable mark is the reality.
Otherwise why would people come and go, why would things happen, why would we need to learn? This coming and going is as good a part of life as perhaps staying.
What happens or happened may not happen for the good in this very moment. But if you see the broader picture, and take a leap two or three years down the line, you will realise, perhaps you needed that lesson.. that person to shake you or make you. I know I sound terribly like the stereotypical 'what happen happens for the good' rhetoric.. and I do realise that things like death and some other catastrophe makes this whole idea seem frivolous. I don't know if what I ramble about here makes sense to you in this day and time. But this 'lesson' thing makes me see easy.
Yuhuuuuuu!
