Tuesday, April 17, 2012

a homage in waiting

That moment when you want to be honest and make a clean abreast of everything, not that you have sinned to the full but because it's time. With your givings and misgivings and everything. When you want to cease resisting and surrender.

Someone like her would never submit to a happy forever, however much she wishes her forever to be happy. She'd need to first have a fight to fight inside of her, would need to be made to bow down, would need to be ruled in order to make her love. And at the same time, she'd want all the world at her feet and that he should bring it to her and subtly so, without caring if she knows. All this in thought, HIS thought! She craves to stand in obeisance, in reverence of him, in submission to his will. Why? Because she believes that he is. And there she wants to stand silent, as if it were a secret she'd never tell him about. 'Idol' worship had always been so essential to her. But never did meet her a God.

"You told me not to lose faith. But I am. It is slipping out of my hands tonight."