self-observations

These days the more i think about myself, the more it dawns upon me that I have changed..in my choices, my cravings, my habits, and my likings..it has been going on for so long that I feel like putting it all down. May be its 'growing-up-- LIVE' that i am witnessing.. don't want to let the feeling go unobserved, so here i am..

So what are these little changes?

The most frivolous ones: For once I have begun to like eating green vegetables MORE happily than before.. while earlier the likes of rajma, chhole etc etc used to be my favourites, now I am alright with bland green vegetables. I used to always opt for rice if ?I could help it.. now I like to have it as a supplement to roti, not as a substitute. Earlier chocolates were my weakness.. now i don't find myself craving for them..even Ferrero-Rocher...IMAGINE..

I have grown more calm..in an earthed manner..

I still discuss most of what's going on with my friends but till possible I have started keeping my troubles to myself.. this is happening naturally to me..something which is worrisome cz a girl needs to 'say it out and talk-it-over..and if I don't do that Im doing me more harm than good.

I don't let me cry now..i cant stringently vouch for that though but something to that effect has happened.

I may be happy from the inside at times, but earlier while that used to culminate into a chirpy nonsensical mad neha, now it comes down to a more sober, 'gambheer', quiter neha..whom not much can shock, not much can excite. (Pls don't let that happen.) ..Lots more i feel, but for here, i think this is enough.

To tell the truth, I am afraid of this change and I wish not to change myself. I hope its just a passing phase of life.. and nothing permanent...and when i feel the same again i woudl come to u and share it out.

Love, ya

my 'bad day' day

02.30 pm..

Today has been one 'fine' day of my life...and I am seriously dreading the upcoming hours for if I go by how it has been so far.. I can be sure to expect further trouble!

First things first. I get up in the morning and as I look for my slippers under my bed..I don't find them, so I poke one foot beneath the bed like we usually do to find our slippers but BAMMM! My foot strucks something hard and solid beneath the bed and before I know it one nail is half broken and little blood has already oozled out.. I silently curse and hold my foot with both my hands and jump like they show in cartoon movies (the likes of Tom, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck ..u get the picture right? ) anyway.. so still not wide awake I go upstairs. I am walking, im walking, im walking then 'aeiuoiuoieyieoeeeeeeeeee'.. I go sliding on water on the floor.. now WHY was it on the floor I don't know.. so I get up and curse some more and finally am wide awake. If thats a nice beginning to a nice morning then you should know what happens next. I enter the bathroom and I just turn to turn on the shower when my elbow hits the tap underneath and I gasp in pain. I stand still..the pain was toooooo much to bear. I turn on the shower and NOT a drop of water..well, that was expected wasn't it? keeping in mind the fabulous start to the day. Anyway, I get water from the 'direct' tap.. (funny name!)

Now I come out and as I am about to iron my trousers, a tear in the trousers stares at me in the face.. now how in the world could there be a tear just above the back pocket of a pair of trousers is incomprehensible but sadly the truth of my morning today. I was aghast i was inconsolable and I was hurt. :( what had i done to anyone ever????

So, then I go to college.. all charged up for the presentation I had to give today. And just before the teacher enters the classs I start coughing.. I cough like mad so that my over-sensitive throat becomes so sour that i can hardly speak a word let alone give a presentation in which the longets part was mine. But then I took some water and ultimately the presentation was quite nice.

Somedays are just not good... and today is a classic example.. lets see what more happens.. there are still many hours to go..