Till now I was a matter of getting to be behind the steering.. to be in control of my life, my emotions and my choices however hard or frivolous. How hard it was, how much strength it required to gain back what I had lost. Now that I am on the driving seat with safety belt in place – life seems to be a crisscross of wayward roads..and all I do in my mind is steer. Steering away from thoughts that disturb me, steering towards that what keeps me distracted and happy or both. Sometimes I sit back and wanna relax, but as if on automaton following the Murphy's Law, the car moves towards the road I know is not right for me. Again I have to sit up, again look far ahead and assess the potential damage and swerve the mind and again navigate it away. *wipes off the forehead "phew!"*
It's funny actually sometimes. As if once you are sitting on a mad horse... you gotta keep it busy.. the moment you lose focus the horse goes mad..and on and on
I missed you ya.. my exams are going on.. three I'm done with and fourth one is tomorrow.. I have decided to study less.. last exam I studied way too much and I ended up sitting befuddled during the exam..simple matters became complicated just like that. If you look too hard you make a ghost out of nothingness. Something similar happened.
And I am so sleepy.
And suddenly I get sad.