dear blog
Im not feeling at peace with myself. I had strange dreams last night.. and not just one but many. All of them were so engrossing and thrilling that i feel like i hardly slept. Apart from the tiny-winy details i don't think i recall the substantive part of my dreams. But they seem to tell me even more than ever how unsettled my mind is and how I seek some fulfilment, some poise and composure back in my life. Its as if my legs are wobbly and my mind is floating. No I didn't drink at all last night. I don't like to drink. Shhhhhhh..
I just want to go out of Delhi. All alone preferably. I wish i could just pack my bags, put in a camera, stuff some good things to eat and take off for places unknown. I want to reach the railway station, not knowing where i'm headed.. hitch hiking thats called isn't it? Then i want to hitch hike the hell out of hitch hiking. Recently I got an offer to work in Ahmedabad and I wanted to jump and grab the opportunity. But i couldn't.. lets not even go to the reasons.
I have lots of work to do today and some i have already done. Feels nice to be working by 9 o'clock. I have deliberately and with much effort changed my sleeping pattern so as to get up early and go for a run with Panther and Maxie. They make my day. So now I sleep early and get up early. I had a horrible routine these past 3-4 months..i used to sleep around 3 or 4 and get up around 9 or 10..couldn't sleep for longer as Panther would start barking his head off by then..and the whole day would be spent in daze.
I need a car asap. I really do.
what else can i moan about today? now that my head is not at its usual place. Yesterday night i got afraid. Why? Reading Harry Potter. I know anyone would laugh at me but something in it made me watchout for flying curtains and whether the doors were latched properly. I like to be afraid sometimes.. cz i don't get afraid of "ghosts" too often..so i enjoy the feeling of being afraid of the unknown! Even Exorcist didn't scare me last time and the trip to Scary House with Hina had me in splits!..well, no marks to me at the scary house as more than scary it was funny and the way Hina was shouting at the ghosts, "don't touch!" i was half rolling on the floor!
I bought 2 boos some days back. Tuesdays with Morrie and The Last Lecture, both of these im yet to begin with. Have been on a Harry Potter tour all these days, one after the other i have picked up Potter and how i love them. I even love Kreacher now.
i like writing like this.. unmindful of the vocabulary, spellings, paragraphs and best of all, topic! there is no topic, thats the topic! heheee
bye blog, i have to get ready and get going. love ya so much
next time when i write i pomish to be more shenshible. hic hic hic!
