Friday, April 22, 2011

Black. And White.

Hitherto it was a sketch in the making. Rapid strokes executed with nothing on mind. Those strokes intended for nothing, just a free rein for an eager mind. Bold black strokes rambled on in an unnerved motion on a still white canvas. Sometimes leading, sometimes lead on. Every day I learned something new. The unskilled fingers moved over and about the canvas, propelled by their existence. Unmindful of what was to become of it. On and on and on the paint brush moved and I never realised what it was fast becoming. I was busy naysaying perhaps.

As the sketch nears its fortification I stop and step back to see what's become of the canvas..and I smile. Stare hard enough and I can read faint sweeps to make out what the canvas now betrays. The colourless strokes have now a story etched in contours. Why does it surprise me still? And why do I blush? I ask myself in vain but it's a self rolling wheel. So free-spirited that neither time nor my eye can capture its motion in entirety.

Black. And White.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

D'oh! ;)

Hey you,

Missed writing eh, but each time I'd come around, I'd end up writing something I wouldn't post. And it would get flipped headlong into the infinite depths of my unposted drafts! Once I ended up writing a 'motivational' poem..a feat almost impossible for me. I am one of those who can harp in melody when going gets rough, who can sit down and write odes to the pain! But a 'jo beet gayi so baat gayi' we 'painaddicts' can never come up with in prose.

Have been studying, doodling on last pages of my registers, dreaming of after study snacks and drinking tea, coffee, ice tea, milk, water, rooh afza, rasna, tang, you name it, I am washing it down my throat. There's a lot swirling and whirling in my mind.. it all eddies into colorful contours. And I like it that way.

So here's what I wrote.. i didn't like it much for its darn too simple. But well, you gotta KIS,S sometimes :)

At times to be quiet
we need to talk.
sometimes, to be still
we better take a walk

What may seem reverse 
might not really be
What strikes as a curse, 
nigh your blessing be

Be quiet, my love
not silent be.
quest (for) calm within
but not lifeless be

Gather thy courage
pick up thy core
head for a walk 
by your heart's shore

Now on to Interpretation of interesting subject. And hey that reminds me.. a detailed talk on Juris is dew. Oops. due. D'oh.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


Being home does it to me perhaps. I miss panther more than ever today. I wish i could just see him once..panting, licking his paws, asking for treats, trotting about..trying to hop on the bed, barking till my ear drums would burst to take him for walks, being ever so naughty and giving me great company.. putting his face on my lap and going to sleep.. looking like a frightened kid when I would bathe him.. and then do a jig sloshing soapy water all over me..doing nothing just 'being'.. i miss him so much all the time... of late even missing him had become something beautiful..I was able to achieve something i thought was only meant for poetry and wishful thinking.. the fact that you can actually miss someone and still smile .. the fond memories taking away the pain.. it was magical.. and though I knew the magic wouldn't last.. i knew for sure that it was magic, alright.

I miss him..i just don't know what else to say. I miss him.. very very deeply. :(

Baby, I tried hard not to write to you.. to not enlarge a pic of yours, to teach myself to steer towards those times which were amazing, skipping the reel where you were ill and i was in a constant state of silent subtle panic and fear of you going away. But we can only skip somethings sometimes.. :(

I know it will be fine.. I know for sure you are with me.. and I can still manage to smile as I try so hard to stop me from crying. Been four months I know.. but love is beyond time and place..right? It's even beyond existence.. it's just there..

I just love you so much

Sunday, April 10, 2011

200th post

This is the 200th post. A lot has happened..and a lot remains neatly wrapped in the confines of future. Lots I have shared here, lots kept to myself and lots hinted at, I guess. I like this space. That's about all. 

Friday, April 8, 2011


I wanna hug you, hold you, shake you, smother you.. as if you were my own. If pain were alphabets perhaps this is how they would read.

Her fingers twitch with a ferocity and a need to write, to write without a pause without as much as an interruption to breathe or think. She feels sad. Tonight.

She breathes and takes in the raw air. Wanting bad not to feel. But as always she fails. She wants bad not to write but she does. She wants bad to sleep so the night passes by, murkily in her sleep. But she can't.. all she wants to do is to write.. as if it were the solution, her absolution. Is she running or escaping? Moving away or silently returning? She cries hoarse to herself and to destiny.. that she does not want her mind to go back from where it just emerged.

Has nothing changed? 

She's afraid, so afraid she can't tell anyone. Afraid of getting trapped in the times she had frozen.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

We are the Champions!! World Cup is ours! :D

We WON it!!! This is one of the most joyous moments of my life!!! We are the champions of World Cricket! :D It took 28 years!! Wil post pics in time! Love you all! This day was historic. This night is terrific! Indiaaaaa!!!! :D