I just thought about age and whether it has got to do with how we lead our lives and i find there are just so many ways to look at it. The thing about getting old makes me feel that a lot is being missed. It ain’t about getting old at all. It is about the trepidation if I will be able to furnish my own expectations of myself, which by all standards are sky high. I love myself and I know I can make people happy and derive pleasure from little nothings. But as time passes by there are more things which are going to be demanded of me and what will happen then? Would I live up? A few years down the line and they would want me to meet some guys.. a few more years and they would expect me to settle with someone, a few years and a family, a few and something else. Meanwhile life would pass by me and would I have done my bit? Would I have rewarded myself for my work? Would I have kicked a few buckets off my bucket list?? Because however hard it may seem, we are all on a death row, howsoever subtle and muted.
It is nice to know where our life is heading because ultimately the steering is in our hands. Stages in our lives come as stations where we are supposed to stop. Drop some and pick some, sometimes refuel some and keep going on till the next station appears.
Why do I feel life would be easier if I knew what was to happen? Am I falling into the same trap that people all across ages and civilisations fell into? That of astrology, the art of oracle, fortune finding? Its tempting, yes it is.. but it is also improbable and just like my feelings for religion are null in one respect and I find myself hopefully spiritual in others, I feel the same about this branch of science.
Coming back to where I strayed away from. It is always said about age, that it is a ‘state of mind’. I do not disagree but then, what is mind? A state of age?
That is precisely what one should fear falling for.
