I just thought about age and whether it has got to do with how we lead our lives and i find there are just so many ways to look at it. The thing about getting old makes me feel that a lot is being missed. It ain’t about getting old at all. It is about the trepidation if I will be able to furnish my own expectations of myself, which by all standards are sky high. I love myself and I know I can make people happy and derive pleasure from little nothings. But as time passes by there are more things which are going to be demanded of me and what will happen then? Would I live up? A few years down the line and they would want me to meet some guys.. a few more years and they would expect me to settle with someone, a few years and a family, a few and something else. Meanwhile life would pass by me and would I have done my bit? Would I have rewarded myself for my work? Would I have kicked a few buckets off my bucket list?? Because however hard it may seem, we are all on a death row, howsoever subtle and muted.
It is nice to know where our life is heading because ultimately the steering is in our hands. Stages in our lives come as stations where we are supposed to stop. Drop some and pick some, sometimes refuel some and keep going on till the next station appears.
Why do I feel life would be easier if I knew what was to happen? Am I falling into the same trap that people all across ages and civilisations fell into? That of astrology, the art of oracle, fortune finding? Its tempting, yes it is.. but it is also improbable and just like my feelings for religion are null in one respect and I find myself hopefully spiritual in others, I feel the same about this branch of science.
Coming back to where I strayed away from. It is always said about age, that it is a ‘state of mind’. I do not disagree but then, what is mind? A state of age?
That is precisely what one should fear falling for.
I couldn't agree with you more! Such a well thoughtful post, thank you.
ReplyDelete:) Amias, as always i found your comment encouraging. thanks to YOU!
ReplyDeleteYou are wise, I don't know your age, but you seem to say some of the things I think about all the time ... and yet I am old and I know the answers, at least the ones that relates to me, to the questions that you ask.
ReplyDeleteI find this post not only refreshing to read, but serves as a reminder of why I am an unhappy old woman. You have reminded me that my choices have ruled my life, and most of those choices were influenced by others ... how did this happen? I know how, but I can't do a thing about it now as it's in the past --- as for my future, I have none, being old I live in the moment of now; any other way and I am just fooling myself.
Hey Amias, no matter how old you are, don't say you don't have a future. Not everything we do has to have to do with future to come. :) and yes, im young right now..21 years.. and you must be one of the very few people who have called me wise :) Intelligent yes, smart yes, but wise? Thats like elevating me to another level.. crowning me to glory!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, lemme wear off the smug look on my face for the moment and try replying to you.
You say that most of the decisions of your life were influenced by others, and you ask how did it happen.. I think the answer to this lies in the fact that those 'others' were very important to you at that period of time. You made those choices ultimately for your own self even if it meant placing that person over what you really wished, because THATS what you wished then.
I see you and I as standing on two edges of a wooden bridge. The bridge could be a metaphor of life. When you look back from where you stand you are able to realise the 'why' behind the choices you made for you think in hindsight. From where I stand (and ultimately this is what this post was about) I was looking ahead at the long bridge and suddenly got fearful for what the future holds for me. The choices I make today would undoubtedly be influenced by other people for I allow it to be, for it justifies my choices for the moment because today those people mean something to me. As years pass by I may or may not regret my decisions; those people and my feelings may not remain the same, but just like you I would also have to live with them.
Now comes the question of age ie..how our age has a bearing on the choices we make. I wouldn't want to be bound by constraints of age. I don't mind being influenced, but i dont want to be taking decisions just because "it's time".
I don't feel nice when you say you are an unhappy old woman. Thats not what one is ready to hear from someone who is so loved and admired in the literary world of fellow bloggers and poets. I wish I knew you more so I could show you how you are blessed with what you have and how happiness has ultimately found you, and may be all thats needed is for you to realise its presence. So, don't say you are an unhappy old woman, you cannot just swipe the beauty off your life with those three bland words! You know you are much more.
I know I am far too young and much less wiser (notwithstanding what you said :)) to be reminding you of your blessings, but I hope to make you smile :) cz u know, you are a rockstar!!
Not only have you made me smile, you have, like your post reminds me that --- yes, wisdom has nothing to do with age --- blessed are the ones that learn from others experiences.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I am bless by the youth who come my way in this wonderful blog world -- in that I am happy indeed. Believe me when I say I speak about you all to everyone I love --- as I am so blessed to know each of you.
Niyaa, the youth of today is much more wiser than us old folks, as they see with clearer vision, and we saw through rose colored glasses ... your future will be wonderful because you are enjoying some of the freedom of thought that we did not have. In this beloved one, you are all powerful.
being someone who's spent almost all his life in the playground, against my parents',teachers' n college proffs' wishes, i seriously doubt my credentials for commenting on this post... with this background am no where close to the word 'wise' but i must say these thoughts do exist somewhere in my pandemonium.. as far as falling into the trap is concerned i feel 99% of the population dont actually know what their dreams are.. who they are.. to me everyone seems to be running behind something i can't even see.. and this is something, as they say, a way of justifying my failures in this 'intellectual' world...
ReplyDeletenice post... and the picture is better than the post...!!
:)
And then one day you find..
Ten years have got behind you..
No one told you when to run..
You missed the starting gun..
And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking..
Racing around to come up behind you again..
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older..
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death..
listen to this song - Time - by Floyd...
Well, welcome to the club of defiant individuals i'd say :). Though your love is the playing field and I presume it is football (soccer, is 'cooler' for some but i like football better) that is your sport, it is something I personally find quite laudable.
ReplyDelete"Conventionality is not morality", said Charlotte Bronte in the Introduction to Jane Eyre. And if you don't mind me saying it, going against the odds is what sets you apart.. it is easier to be the parent's/ teacher's/ or professor's blue-eyed boy and follow the conventional path than to bear their disproving glances :) every now & then. And im not just talking career here.
Yea, many people don't see their dreams but I do think they have a general idea.. even if they are clueless about the means for it. 99% of the people i am sure have one sole aim, that of acquiring more money than there dad's. And a similar percentage I think hasn't thought about it. Fair enough I think, saves lotsa trouble!
And yea, the pic is really very nice. It is assuasive, isn't it? After placing it here I wasn't too sure if anyone else would be able to associate with the topic. Now i know better.
I like the lyrics. Would check it out and get back to you.
From fear to future to failure (and football.. all innocuously beginning with an 'f'!) , we have discussed interesting stuff this post has come a long way :)
@ Amias..:) thanks .. u also made me smile and think deeper.. :) cheers to you!
ReplyDelete