I don't have a word for this feeling. But I am sure there exists a word in the english lexicon for it..perhaps the word is a relative of 'curiosity'. For so many months now, intermittently though, I have been reveling under the heady feeling of the simple ginormous playing field that spreads for miles ahead of me.. and like a mind game I gotta collect all the goodies (read knowledge) as I travel through the field... Its the sweet thirst for this knowledge.. there's just so much so learn and there's just so much I want to get to the bottom of. And all this makes me dizzy and drunk.
I read Jurisprudence and I lose track of time and place.. There is so much more to know about it and I ache to know it all ... but I know it will take time and one need be patient with such things ... I read literature and I ache to read ALL books by a given author of my like...I wanna read Pablo through and through, to have read works of poetry in Urdu and Hindi as well.. historical more than contemporary. I'd watch some historical movie or a moving documentary, avail myself free subscription of an online documentary and there I go..overwhelmed by the enormity of all that's left for me to learn and loving every bit of it! Sometimes hating the fact that I don't have the time.. loving the fact that I have the hunger for it.. I want to know how the cosmos works - wanting to see all the best that discovery and Nat Geo offers.. then I move over to Africa and I want to know about the native history of each of those nations, I want to know all about tigers and their habits and then I want to be an expert on dogs as well... apart from these silly pursuits I want to have heard the best of music that mankind has ever heard, the best of books, autobiographies of the greats, their failures, their victories.. at times like these world becomes so small a place.. only the epistemic travails of the mind remains.. and I thrive in that .. the abundance of it all and as if all one needs to do is to jump and pluck. AND i have not even mentioned articles, news, views, opinion, studies and book of my field - human rights, cz interest in that goes unsaid.
This quest for knowledge is bewitching as much as it is infinitum.. there's simply too much that tempts me, gets my grey cells cracking and there I go googling, reading, enjoying ... and ALWAYS finding myself standing over a whole new arena of unexplored lands .. which I want to tread.. the thought is so gratifying..but I never am able to satiate the thirst..
And then there is news..my first beau.. needless to say (to myself) iin Dec and Jan, I was very much away from it. Am again catching hold of the broken strands..will take some time.. but I needed to break-away too. :)
Its not as if the love for subjects like history, philosophy, politics, anthropology struck me just now.. nor do I expect or intend to gain academic expertise in all of these..i just wanna 'know' a bit about all these - just to enjoy- plain and simple..and therein I realise that social sciences is the home of my mind. I am not 'come one come all' about these topics, am very much selective in what interests me .. but of late the subgroup called 'my choicest narrowed-down field of interest' has been burgeoning and flourishing..almost resembling a parallel eco-system of its own.
And there are the non-academic, non-intellectual pursuits I wanna follow.. I wanna travel a lot, i have realised that travel keeps me going (not just topographically).. I want to shop for stuff for my room and for that I wanna explore unconventional places.. there's an entire arena of fashion (the girl in me awakens) that now interests me.. i wanna check that out too.. but of course, these little pursuits are secondary to me in the mind for now..oh yea, I wanna learn to cook. (not happening).
So back to Juris and back to rights and liberty and equality debate.
