Saturday, March 27, 2010

LoVe


The feeling when your legs seem feather-weight, your heart seems to be lifted up with a hot air balloon, up and up and up it flies, light throughout; your lips mouth beautiful songs and your mind is at peace. When all of your good sense and conscience tell you it is right. It is right, oh so right. When no matter what others think you have your path all chalked out. Is that love? Or is it some delusional nonsense we rom-com lovers have been fed over years? That never really holds true in real life?

Sometimes I wonder if real love really exists. And how does it feel like. Does it make one feel fear-free? Does it remain all the time? A friend of mine who is in love for the past many years once told me that it ebbs and flows. I liked the expression but never really understood. I thought it to mean that a time comes when one feels deeply in love and then a time comes when one doesn't.. all this while being in love. The mystery of love is never-ending. And i shouldn't even dare attempt to solve. Life happens.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Law Fac Diary

My life at Law Fac.. reading a college mate's blog set my mind galloping about the corridors and classrooms, canteen and nescafe, offices and garden of my college and how I feel about studying here. I come from a college where I felt more out of place than let's say..had i been studying Journalism on Jupiter. Yeah. I never felt I belonged and I never invested. Period. The place was a bore for me and all I wanted was for my grad to get over!! The fake attitude of people around, the shallow banter, the stupid, I repeat, stupid hole of a canteen (hehe.. it should be aired on TV smday!!), the lack of any kind of intellectual stimulation, and of course the library of all libraries where one was not allowed to scroll through bookshelves..(i still have trouble believing that) where all books were stacked nicely albeit locked inside glass-pane..locked!! One couldn't even have the contentment of holding a book in the hand and go over a few passages before deciding to get it issued.. you only got to touch a book if you were to issue it. Policy bizarre. Needless to say, I never used my library card in three years. Not once. The idea of a locked library was akin to keeping those lovely books in confinement. To me all those books seemed to be shedding tears. And the teachers.. those who were good left mid-sem, those who remained flirted, those who flirted were definitely popular, and the non flirting non leaving teachers (read lady teachers) were simply bad at teaching! :P Ok, i know i am being too harsh... :P the staircase on which students used to sit was nice... the pigeon droppings that covered the ground made us feel one with nature. hehe.. ok it wasn't all that bad! The students who had 'fun' really had great fun and made friends for a lifetime. I just didn't belong.. i was a square peg to the round hole perhaps! 

So, when I entered law fac.. it had really good chance of making a good impression considering the past record of my grad college! I think of law fac fondly. Naturally. I don't care if our classes don't have air conditioning systems.. it has trees all around. The library is one of the best in the country, no really. And the Fac is in campus.. the core of student life in Delhi. The students have some intellectual level.. it is possible to have a sensible discussion.. there is a debate and seminar group, guests are regularly called in for lectures after college hours. Something I enjoy attending.. given that the topic interests me. 
There are many around us who crib about the infrastructure, the ever empty water tank, the decrepit and ancient canteen, the nescafe counter where there is the same boring and limited menu every day ( but i am thankful for it!), and how can i forget.. the so called 'crowd' which according to many isn't hep enough.. those things hardly bother me. I like the fact that there are so many people from different backgrounds and lifestyles.. there is a considerable student population which is not doing law just to take it up as a profession but also because they like studying it. I like this attitude.

When my classes began, I never spent any time with my classmates..I was busy at other places. In third semester also it was pretty much the same.. I had taken up intership at HC so i was busy there. I don't even remember the third sem except for the time spent in Court. But now things seem to have changed a little. I enjoy being with my friends. I try to discipline myself .. attending classes regularly..(ok, i skipped nearly whole of last month but i had reasons a plenty!) I spend time with friends.. I have begin to take out time to be with them..the neha who used to run to HC to work, has come out of the shell she had created around herself. I enjoy studying law.. specially constitutional law .. i always knew i would like it .. it has taken my fancy even more now. The teachers however, are a mixed bag.. some good some bad, some too bad! (we students never spare our teachers, do we?) But it is good. i don't have sky high expectations. Nescafe or Nirulas,.. or the roadside chai-wallah and maggie wala .. i like them all! :) geeee And the cherry on the cake was the recently concluded CLC Fest called Ichthus..a similar fest has never taken place in the Law Fac. The fest gave all a time to bond, party and groove to the music being played by bands which had come to perform. I was happy to see the change in me. I was happy to see me happy. I think I am bringing back the confidence I had lost in the last year.   

Anyway.. this was not what i came here for. It is about my attitude towards the law fac that has changed with time..and of course it took me nearly two years to develop that bond. 
I do feel I belong here.. cz i respect this place. The fact that it is Delhi Univ makes me feel good. It is so important to have an alma mater you are proud of :) and despite all its hooliganism and madness and babudom of the college administration.. i love the place and look forward to going tomorrow!




Night Out

I was in a 'lost' mood all evening..was just lost in thoughts and though i had made the plan for the night out (on the road in the car), but when we actually set out for the drive and dinner.. i was lost again..in my thoughts.. my usual fervour and banter all gone. I cud see didi trying to cheer me up.. and i was trying hard to get into the playful mode.. for her sake and mine. I could feel something was bogging me down. Some feeling unknown.. mystified..too deep for comprehension..it was not unfamiliar though. I want to break free from that what is keeping me down. I so wanna fly. All said and done..in the end.. i know what is happening and why..

I recommend Wok In the Clouds in Rajouri Garden and a little Breezer thereafter.. dropping in at friends's place is also not a bad idea given you have good music playing..:) we had all of these today.. and i tried to immerse in the music, the moment and the cheer..being out all night is the second best thing one can do all night long.... ;)

Will write in more later

Love ya

Me

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Women Reservation Bill: Lok Kiya Jaye?





Sometimes we come across issues and political debates where there are no rights and wrongs. There are only belief systems that people propound amidst the loud cacophony of conflicting interests, conventional thinking and  their own moral values. One such debate is about the Woman Reservation Bill (WRB) that was passed by the Rajya Sabha recently and is stated to be tabled in the Lok Sabha in the months to come. Like audience to a tennis match, I had been sitting across the court, my head swinging left-right-left-right to the various shots (and potshots) the pro and anti WRB lobby hit each other with and while doing so I realized that while all root for participation of women and their better engagement in Indian politics but different people (men and women alike) have different degrees to which they support this particular Bill.

While a few dismiss the bill at the very face of it, many are in support with it as long as certain changes are brought about to it. There is a lobby that seeks to have a sub-quota within the quota and there are many who support it just because they want to be seen as pro-women while some oppose it because they simply do not believe in the philosophy of  reservation whether for women, for scheduled castes, scheduled tribes or other backward classes. 

Pacifists like me are mostly optimist as far as reservation is concerned. We see what we would like to see. They tell us reservation is a solution and we look at it hopefully, with susurrations of parity, equality, social equity and political voice to all ringing in our ears. We haven't really felt the change so far, whatever change that has been has clearly not trickled down to the underprivileged masses. Not yet. But because we want the change so bad, we presume that there has been. It is akin to saying that because we want protection we take for granted the existence of God. It sounds acceptable in the context of the Almighty but does it work in this society? I would like to see some report on reservation. An analysis with some statistics pertaining how, when and where exactly reservation worked, which community benefited, how long would they be needing it and when should it be lifted for that particular class/caste/group. An assessment to see how far reservation has helped and in which areas, whether that of education, employment, legislature, judiciary, whether it worked well and where it is proving to bring more disparity than equity, is long overdue. It will not only be an eye-opening exercise but will also lead to a better planning for such endeavors in future. 


Reservation, from the time it was inserted into the Constitution, was not meant as a gift neither was it a charity for any community. It was a method by which the caste-ridden society like ours was to crawl out from beneath the legacy of the oppressive caste system. Whereby under-represented and marginalized groups were to be given opportunities on a quota basis keeping in mind that the same were denied to these groups for all these years in many spheres like employment, education, legislature etc. Those were the basics. How far have we reached? My research on the topic lead me to a report  on Impact of Reservation Policy in Higher Education in India by the Tata Institute of Social Sciences (TISS). Why don't we have more of these? And if we do why don't we have them circulated massively?

Coming back to the Woman Reservation Bill, one finds that though the idea of larger representation of woman  is much coveted by all (including men) but the higher up you move in the echelons of academicia and experts on Indian politics and society, the less celebratory the tone becomes. This is because though the end is desirable, there are many aspersions clouding the means.

The system of rotation, it is feared, would do more harm than good to any constituency. It will give less incentive and motivation for an MP to bring about better facilities to his constituency. He will serve not those for whom he has worked. Seems like a lose-lose situation. The question as to whether there should be a sub-quota within a quota is also an interesting one and makes sense to me. Besides, if the underlying purpose of WRB is to increase the number of women lawmakers in the country, which is at present close to a dismal 10 per cent even after 63 years of Independence, then why not make a law thereby making it compulsory for political parties to have an intra-party quota for fielding women candidates? There is hardly any democracy within any of the major national political parties. Corruption, greed and self-interest are the deciding factors as to who will lead the party, it is even more blatant when these parties distribute tickets at the time of elections. The answer to this is that our society is such that it becomes nearly impossible for women candidates to win elections against dominant male candidates. Is there any study supporting this particular argument? I would like to read. And even though I am a woman, this counter argument sounds like the cry of a bad loser to me. But keeping in mind the holistics of the whole debate would I decide to do without the Bill all together? I would say no. A helpless but incontrovertible no. That's the dilemma shrouding this Bill, it makes it tough to take a firm stand, wheresoever one may be sitting.

The WRB is not being lauded in its essence it is being seen as a precursor to what is sought after and in that we say our cheers. The Bill shows us a metaphorical tunnel at the other end of which lies a (wishful?) end to discrimination, infanticide, female foeticide, dowry deaths, oppression of women and their ultimate empowerment. And thus, we cheer for it. However, difficult questions are a plenty, and many an eyebrows have been raised and rightly so. The Women Reservation Bill comes with an asterisk -- the real deal we are yet to know. Till then, don't touch that remote!