Growing Up

What's growing up? Is it the realisation that the beliefs you nurtured and imbibed all these years were nothing? That all you liked about yourself was actually delusional nonsense. That all you despised and hoped never to be is what the world demands that you be. It is a difficult realisation, one that only reminds you of what could have been instead of what should have been.

All our lives we think of standing up for what is right, for doing what is right and for having the grit and the determination to face all odds. To be strong when going gets tough, to not give in, then what happens when in love? Why we falter when the one's we have to stand up to are our own people?

I have seen myself doing things i should not have done. I have seen myself give in a times when i should not have. All for love. It was not a sacrifice but definitely a foolish obligation that i kept serving subconsciously. I must have been sure of getting the same in return. That didn't happen.. one was left bereaved.. then what? What right does one have against one's own? Indifference is the best way I used to think, but what if something as much as a scratch on someone leaves you in a state of panic? What do you do then?

Or is growing up just a phase that keeps returning to us.. today what i believe would look kiddish tomorrow, but after a while in some other situation, i would realise those old beliefs were true, innocent and so very pure.

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Growing up is looking back and laughing at our most 'serious' moments..

All through my childhood i wanted to be an adult, and now that i am one, I yearn for the child in me...

A window to the past, a channel to the future, yet always in the present..thats "growing up"..