The Gotra-ization of Honour

As Khap Panchayats across the spectrum face flak in the media and beyond about their draconian and unacceptable diktats with regard same-gotra marriages, a recently held India/Independent People’s Tribunal (IPT) was held to bring to fore untold stories of shock and horror that stage themselves live in many families in India today. And as it appears, it is not just the Khap-rulings in a rural backdrop that are fuelling such barbarity. And neither does it all stem from the same-gotra debate that has polarised the issue. There are many incidents of such violence being reported from middle class educated households in cities like Delhi, Jodhpur and Faridabad where such crimes are being committed irrespective of the gotra or lineage. The focal point it seems is ‘defiance’ by the couples’ and exercise of their ‘right to choose’ instead of flouting of gotra norms by them.

The IPT, organised by Shaktivahini and Human Rights Law Network in collaboration with many state-based women rights groups, brought to fore astounding and gruesome testimonies from men and women whose only crime was that they fell in love and dared to defy the mandate of the ‘honourable’ samaj. Take this example. Delhi based Nikhil married his sweetheart Himani against her family’s wishes. Eight days into the marriage, and the police barged into their home and took Himani away. Their marriage certificate was torn off and he was further slapped with charges of abduction and kept behind bars for a month. By the time Nikhil filed a habeas corpus writ petition in the High Court and got a decree in his favour, he was informed that Himani was already dead. He was casually handed over Himani’s death certificate on the day he was to see her. While her family asserts she died from severe Pneumonia, the doctors concerned rubbish the same. His case remains pending in the courts.

In another case of the kind, Seema, a Delhi-based woman married one Satish in an Arya Samaj Mandir against the wishes of her family. Since after the marriage they were forcibly separated and she has not been allowed to meet her husband. Though her own family has taken her in, but her brothers wash their hands off her saying that she has brought this fate upon her self by choosing to marry of her freewill.

For Rajasthan Police staffer like Tannu, who fell in love with and married a boy belonging Scheduled Tribe, her marriage has taken a dramatic turn. Though the families have accepted the couple, it is the societal and self-styled guardians of Hindu dharma who have ostracised and threatened the couple to the extent that the duo has been keeping their marriage under wraps since two and a half years. One look at her and you understand why this girl is not wearing any bangles in her wrists and is bereft of the quintessential vermilion which is otherwise considered quite the hallmark of a married woman here. Her family is now concerned about the fate of her younger sister who is facing trouble getting married owing to Tannu’s ‘choice marriage’. Hence, the concealment. “The moment the groom’s side gets to know that I got married by my choice, they reject my sister and break the alliance. I have been trying to hide my marital status but how does one hide a five-month-old baby? The attitude of police officers who work with me is the same as they discourage me from any kind of advice that I may give to people who come to the police station seeking help. So many times I have been sent on duties away from jail on trivial pretexts so I may not be allowed to inform prisoners about their rights,” she says.

24-year-old Kailash tied the knot with Babita (23) in August this year. The couple did not inform her family as they knew their reaction would be inimical. After the marriage ceremony, Babita went home to talk to her parents who, furious with her marriage, have kept her under confinement at her home. Attempts made by Kailash to take his wife home have failed time and again. He fears Babita’s life and waits for Dalit Foundation, an NGO which has come for his aid, to help him get his wife back.

The gotra issue is only hogwash in order to push the underlying agenda of caste-based politics. The more a political organisation is seen as a preserver of societal norms, the more votes it aims to garner, oblivious of the fact that their harsh views spiral down to crimes and cause social banishment of the worst kind. The self-appointed custodians of this ambiguous entity have become so mighty that a daily mockery of ‘rule of law’ is being played out in the name of honour.

These tales of shock and horror smack of the urgency with a new legislation with regard such crimes needs to be formulated and implemented in the country. Hopefully, the law with regard honour crimes - in line with the provision of murder, hurt and illegal detention of the Indian Penal Code (IPC)- would take into account the issue of compensation to the victims and envisage proper record keeping of such crimes so that region specific action can be taken by the Government and NGOs. According to Haryana State All India Democratic Women's Association (AIDWA) president Jagmati Sangwan, honour crimes are such that unless a separate law is articulated and aggressively implemented, more and more people will fall victims to its hypocritical fangs. “Till now the police have not been maintaining any separate record for such crimes. AIDWA’s three month recording and survey has shown that within the 6000 odd villages in Haryana itself, five to six incidents of honour crimes are recorded in one village in a year.” 

What is really being penalised by Khaps is the right of individuals to choose their marriage-partners and the same is being portrayed under the subterfuge of incestuous relationships in order to seek majority support. Otherwise what is to answer the spate of cases where the girl and the boy belonging to different gotra are also killed or put through torture? Besides, Khap Panchayats primarily exist only in some parts of Haryana, Punjab, Rajasthan and western Uttar Pradesh although such cases are reported from all over the country. The need is to separate the gotra-issue from the issue of defiance viz-a-viz the reaction of families and community. According to data collected by HRLN, in most of the cases where diktats have been issued by the Khap, the couple in question was not from the same gotra but was punished nevertheless.

Though Khap and political satraps are to blame for this social bigotry but to hold them singularly responsible for all crime that takes place in the name of honour would be missing the woods for the trees. Right from forceful confinement, to beating up, to starvation and forcible separation of couples, honour crimes are being perpetrated even in average, educated middleclass households, away from realm of Khap. The need is to depoliticise the issue and sensitise people about the evils of the same and to help them broaden their outlook by way of progressive laws and proactive campaigning.

(Names of victims have been changed for privacy and security concerns)


-- Neha Rathi