August 14th 2008

This is an old post which never saw the light of the day cz of my busy schedule. Here it goes.. the day is August 14th, and I am barely a fortnight into Campus Law Centre, Faculty of Law, Delhi University.

-----------------------Curtains Rise----------------------

"Sure?" asked the lady officer at Campus Law Centre (in short, CLC, the law school I was enrolled in). "Yep", I replied. She made me sign somewhere and another officer handed over my original documents to me. Finally, I was going to withdraw admission from Law and get into MA Political Science, the course I had dreamed of taking up for so long now. The admission wasn't easy and I could bet it was a miracle that I got through not only through the first selection round but also through the second one. After having collected my documents and clinging them close to my chest, I rushed out of the building to go on to the next step -- deposit the documents at Shyama Prasad Mukherjee (SPM), the college I was affiliated to in order to secure my admission. Aaha.. MA Political Science.. I was finally coming!

I reached SPM with my brother whom I had picked up on the way. We didn't know the way so it wasn’t that easy driving to an institute situated bang in the middle of a residential area like Punjabi Bagh where one hopes to find a garden full of women and kids anytime. Anyhow, it was a college all right. Went in.. completed the formalities and here I was.. a bona fide student of Delhi University Art Faculty and no more a Student-Advocate, the term I fell in love with when I heard it the first time from a teacher.

Walking out of the building, I didn’t feel half as excited as I thought I would be. After days and days of having weighed both the options, that of law and pol sci.. I had finally chosen the latter.. Something I thought would help me more as a political writer. BUT I wasn't happy. No I wasn't.

With a heavy heart and a busy mind (it was busy with telling the heavy heart that MA Political Science was a better option any day) I went back to DU, dropping my cousin on the way back. There was a panel discussion on the Amarnath Yatra issue at the Department of Political Science, which I had wanted to attend. In I went. It was the same room where I was to attend the Political Science classes for the next 2 years. Sitting on a seat while waiting for the panellists to arrive, I found my self unsettled. I was not fine. My heart was telling me I made a mistake. I kept telling myself that it is a matter of hours and I will be fine soon but the feeling wouldn’t go. The discussion was excellent and I even took part in the question and answer session, which generally makes me feel good with myself. But this time it was not to be so. On way back again I was in jitters. As time passed the sinking feeling metamorphosed into a drowning feeling. Now that the damage was done, I ventured to do some disaster management. I tried to take refuge in the usual "it is just the fear-of-the-unknown" excuse, but the feeling would just not go away. I called up people who I thought could help. I made frantic calls and as if the weather was privy to the storm in my heart, it even began to rain heavily. But I found myself incapable of absorbing the beauty of the greenery all around or the rain falling on my head, something that I never failed to devour. It was now that the truth of what I had done with regard to the next couple of years of my academic life hit me. The reality struck my senses and I prayed that the clock would turn back by a few hours and let me be a law student once more!

On coming back home I logged on to the internet to read more about political science but found myself running away from it, this had certainly not happened before! I shut my computer and tried to sleep but couldn’t. I kept tossing, turning. The thoughts of having taken the wrong decision kept haunting me. In fact a time came when I couldn’t believe I withdrew from Faculty of Law. Thereafter this mind of mine started working. I thought to myself, "Should I try going back to Campus Law Centre tomorrow and beg them to take me back?" Once such ideas started churning, there was no looking back. I decided to plead, beg, reason, talk to the dean, do anything if they would just take me back.

I again logged on to the net. Found a friend. Told him my problem and we again discussed the ideas. Must say he helped me clear my mind and supported my "sudden change of mind". Then, I tried to sleep, my plan was to get up early the next day and reach the CLC office before the officers would. But sleep wouldn't come. To kill time and to torture my eyes further, I switched on the television and watched "My Wife and Kids".. a nice programme. At last I felt my eyes watering and I slept about 3 with the dialogues I was going to say going around in my head. Now that I think of it, it was much like the mathematical formulae that wouldn’t let me sleep the day before mathematics exam in school days!

Night passed. 7 am and I was up. Didn’t utter a word while getting ready, as if the momentum would break. Declined the offer for breakfast, even water wouldn’t go down my throat that morning! Finally, I took an auto and rushed to CLC. "Cluck Cluck Cluck", went the pen in my hand showing deep anxiety. I reached the office building and found two sweepers cleaning the floor. One of them asked me "What happened madam?", as it was way early for classes to begin. I told him my problem and was greeted with a broad mocking grin and thus came the first of the lectures I was to encounter all day. "Soch ke karna chahiye tha na.. ab to koi chance nahi. Aapko sochna chahiye tha pehle." There went my hopes.

"Kis se baat karu?" I managed to ask him.

"Ab to Professor-in-Charge (PIC) se h  baat karni padegi", came the reply - a suggestion I wanted to avoid since the PIC is the last authority on matters such as these and his NO would mean the end of all further discussion. Then came Mr A, a jolly looking chap who, I presume, takes care of the administrative work for second-year students. After much deliberation, I decided to talk to him since he was the only officer present. I walked up to where he was rummaging through some papers and in a near crying tone, uttered, “Sir.......” and related my sorry tale. As expected, I was greeted with another set of teeth laughing and smiling and me and saying “Lo Kallo Baat.” He then told me to wait as the concerned Madam would arrive soon and I should talk to her. Hitherto began another hour of mind-boggling wait.

The ‘madam’ did not arrived, rather something unexpected happened. The PIC, (saakshaat) was coming towards the office. Mr A greeted him and answered some questions he asked. Thereby he told him, laughing his silly laugh, "Sir, inki problem suniye. Kal admission withdraw karaya tha. Ab vaapas chahiye." Such a sentence, I was sure, would have blocked all doors of reprieve for me, but his smile was such that perhaps the PIC also forgot to acknowledge the seriousness of the issue. (Or as it seemed to me). Government officials and specially college officials are known to 1. Create problems for you 2. Make u wait endlessly 3. Pay you as much attention as an attacking shark would to the pleadings of a helpless swimmer.

Coming back to the office scene, the PIC then looked at me and asked, “Kya hua?” I repeated my plea.

“Kyu bhai, Political Science kijiye na fir”, he said.

“No Sir, I want to do law,” I said.

“Hmm. Kab withdraw karaya?”, he asked.

“Yesterday, Sir”.

“Hmm”, then he looked at Mr A. and told him to take back my documents. (Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! My heart did a somersault and the clouds of fear parted to let in the warmest of sunlight of a winter morning!)

I couldn’t believe it! As the PIC walked away from the room, I profusely thanked Mr. A, a man whose smile I would never forget! He told me, “Madam, don’t get so excited! Let the other madam come.” “Yahoooooo!!!” I cried in my heart! And outwardly asked him , “So, should I get all my documents?”. “Yes, its better you get them ASAP,” said the noble soul. (!)

Thus I sprinted towards the road. The burden of having erred on such a large scale seemed to get lighter by the minute. Taking a deep breath I took the first auto I laid my eyes on and told the driver to take me to Punjabi Bagh . “SPM, I am coming, to get my documents and bid you good bye!"

------------------------Curtains Fall--------------------------

 I am now in second semester.. happily so! Loving the law I learn and enjoying my stint at the campus. Hope the magic continues :)..cheers to my college!