JLT

Looks lyk my house has turnd against me. First d plumbing pickd on
me..so my roof began to leak..then it ws the d walls..on wich ghastly
figures hv appeard dat scare me in d nite, js nw d wiring turnd
hostile..d lights gav up n in came horrible pungent smell of burnin
wire..so i had to shift places cz of d fear of it bcming a gas chamber
4 me..no fun dying in sleep, no? So im camping in mums room 4 d
nite..mum dad camping in drawing room..i realise its warmer in here.
I watchd three fantastic movies tday. Yeah! Three..a record..ws alone
at hm all day. So wel these wr:
1. Life is Beautiful
2. Before Sunset
3. Before Sunrise
fantastic films..got me thinking. If u dnt philosophise much..then 2nd
n 3rd mite nt enthral u lyk it did me. Bt a MUST WATCH 4 those who
enjoy digging deeper n messing up their lives dat way. :)
And ya, a quote i so lvd..from d third movie- "memories are wonderful,
as long as u dont hv to deal wid d past"..
P.S: I hvnt wishd anyone a Happy New Year yet..if only new years wr
really abt being happy n new!
--
Sent from my mobile device

Year ender

This year has changed a lot in my life. But even if i choose to hate it I cannot wipe off its existence. Sitting here in the dark..I mourn tonite. Things are changing in my life and more changes are going to take place.. however much i wish or want ... the times, the people, the relationships, and their beauty will not remain forever.. it will change and i will have to just let go.

Forever- this word is a fictional fabrication. For whatever is there today shall change tomorrow.. the change might not be recognizable to all.. but it would have begun to happen long before we realise it. And i hate to realise such a change. So much damage has already been done.. I don't want any more to take place. I know I sound paranoid but everything we feel, we feel for a reason. I am not fretting in vain.

I hate this time of the year when one is pushed into doing some sort of retrospection and more often than not this annual odyssey inside one's head leads one to discomfiture, gloom and anxiety. Of course, the sun shall shine with the same brilliance the next year, the chill i feel today shall be the same in a couple of days more. Just as crossing national borders does not mean the topography of a region shall change, similarly there's hardly any difference when we enter into a new year. Yet in our mind..things change. And even the biggest pessimist in the world would agree that a new year does bring in fresh hopes and aspirations with it. And the biggest optimist would not deny that their heart is filled with surmises of the year gone by. Retrospection and introspection continue unabated.

I have lost a lot this past year. Things that should have been there 'forever'! I feel I should have done better. But of course circumstances are not always in our favour. I wish I were unaware of these changes. I wish they would happen in stealth. But they just wont. And I am not talking about one person in particular. My brother, my friend and the thing I thought was lot deeper than it proved to be. It seems all is going.. and I dont want to feel it.

My blog turns 100 posts old!

Finally! My hundredth post! Feels nice.. feels like it is an achievement! Today it has been hundred times that in a hundred different ways this blog has helped me out. Pulled me out from deepest of pits of depression and held me close when I wanted to share my joy! So I am grateful for that and much more. Cheers to the blog!

So, what's happening in the muggle world? Here you go..it's a beautiful sunny day.. the year is 2009, the day is Friday and the time is 01:28 pm. And it so happens that today the world is celebrating Christmas. So Santa is taking rest..must be tired from his nocturnal sojourn around the world! I, on the other hand, am half tucked in layers of warm blanket and half propped up on the bed..so you can say that I am comfortable where I am. I am not celebrating Christmas tonite.. I don't feel like it much. So all those who are gonna have cake and turkey and pies and are gonna crowd up together around the Christmas Tree.. I wish you a merry Christmas.

And to me, I wish a Happy Hundredth Post!

The other kind of moving on

 

I think I am moving on. From my childhood. The phase which I had so far tried to keep hidden in me, wrapped under many veils, somewhere in my core..to be taken out every now and then when I was most happy and with the people I loved. It's not an intentionally conceived decision that I have taken, in fact it is not a decision.. it is just happening and I can feel it. And strangely I feel nostalgic.. cz one day I would wanna come back to the same situation in life.. at the same threshold of being the little one.. I hope I meet someone who lets me be a kid all my life.. even when im 60 or 80. I could ofcourse do the caring/looking after, but I would want to be treated as a kiddo.. I feel so comfortable in that skin. Perhaps being the youngest at home has percolated down to my very being. To be thought of as the little one is how I am most 'at home'. That's what I seek. But things have already begin to change so much at home and so rapidly.. as if the ground beneath my feet is turning into sand. It is taking place so fast that I hardly feel I have the time to collect some keepsakes and some memories. Of course it must be happening inside somewhere within the subconscious. Am thankful for that. But well, seeing one's parents age is tough... I was the youngest at home who was always taken to the doctor by mum/dad and never had to take them to one. But now the reverse is happening. I do like to be thought of as a responsible adult..and it is good for me.. but it sometimes makes me feel so out of place and afraid. Perhaps it would need some time to settle down -- the fact that barely a couple of months later I am going to be their only daughter at home. I will, of course.. I mean I AM, doing all I can to take care of them at present too, but after my sister's wedding I will not only be a lonely child (see, again i write child) but one who is no longer a child.. but is supposed to be a responsible adult..to be taking proper care (and without fail) of people who were till now taking care of me. I had gladly and for too long donned the 'bacha' tag.. time will fast come to wear that off.. will I ever be able to put it on again?

I don't know what I have written..or why I feel so.. perhaps it is one of the misgivings of being so sensitive! Having poured out my apprehensions, I am feeling better already! I am a one-gal army! Can take it all.. and much more! :) Bring on!

Love to all,

Me

PS: I see..just noticed that this is my 99th post! Have travelled far and wide with this blog.. and I love it dearly :) Next post shall be a celebration! Yippee!

Panther gaga

I js wanna say that i love panther! He luks lovely in dat red winter
coat of his..wich hs got the design of paws engravd on it! I got it 4 him tday
only..lest d chill shud get to him. Js nw he got up n lookd at me wid
his cute eyes with the wagging tail that i cudnt help bt write abt him!
He sleeps for long these days n as he sn as he'd wake up..like he just did.. i can sense
he wants sm cuddling n pampering..wich he gets without fail! :-) (i yearn for the same wen i wake up :))
And as the clock wud strike 5 or the chill wud begin to set in, he wud be
up and about..now fully awake and sooner than u knw it he's prancing about, wanting
to b taken for a walk in d park. He looks frwd to meeting maxie, his
swthrt, as much as I try to avoid goin wid her..cz wel he bcms naughty wid
her ;( n it gets difficult 4 me to manage 2 dogs craving for their cosy moment under the proverbial mistletoe. Heh!
So, i lv him tday, i'l lv him tmrw n forever..for my little baby he is. :-)
and wid his food n biscuits n the new orange ball..he is sure in for a
treat tnite! And im in for a long panther-walk! Lv u dogga! Im all
smiles 4 him... i just woke up from sleep myself :)

 

Sent from my mobile device

Some beautiful moments

Hi! Came across this wonderful list of things.. have edited some according to my taste.. Some of the MOST beautiful moments in life:

*To fall in love.

* To laugh until your stomach hurts.

* To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.

* To go for a vacation to some pretty place.

* To listen to your favorite song on the radio.

* To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside..the sound of rain drops hitting the windowpane.

* To leave the shower and find that the towel is warm.

* To clear your last exam.

* To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.

* To find money in the pocket of a dress that you haven't used since last year.

* To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))

* Calls at midnight that last for hours.:))

* To laugh without a reason.

* To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.

* To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.

* To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.

* To be part of a team.

* To watch the sunset from the hill top.

* To take a hot hot shower in winters.

* To feel butterflies in the stomach every time that you see that person.

* To pass time with your best friends.

* To see people that you like, feeling happy.

* To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.

* See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.

* To take an evening walk along the beach..and to sit their talking, teasing..or just sitting holding hands

* To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.

* To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ......remembering stupid things done with stupid friends. :)

So much for so many things

So much for love and commitment, so much for friendship and likeness, so much for togetherness and support.. but even then why does one still feel the need to trust? I don't know.. sometimes we go ahead.. without wanting to. And sometimes those little steps forward seem to take light years..feels so heavy as if your ankles are tied with shackles..yet each footfall is a fall from grace..

Mat Kaho

Mat kaho aakash aaj krosh mein hai
Yu to surya barso se aakrosh mein hai

Krodh aakrosh sab apna diya hai
Isiliye to aaj dhar murjha gaya hai

Ek taraf aakash makhmali sunehra
Swagat mein ho jaise koi sundar savera

Par ah, ye kya dharti to jaisi ro padi hai
Nadi naraazgi mein rukh mod chali hai

Ped-paudhe adhmare se jee rahe hain
Garmi aisi ki zameen zhulsa rahi hai

Baraf ke shikhar bhi ab rone lagein hain
Aansuo ki baadh bhu bhigone lagein hain

Bin mausam ki varsha mulsadhaar ho rahi hai
Jalvayu Anishchit akasmik ho padi hai

Kahin sukha to kahin baadh ka karyakram bana hai
In ghatnao se ab to roz hi ka saamna hai

-----------------------------------------------------------

Hum hain vyast tark aur vitark sochne mein
Unnati ki bhook mein ek kashmakash mein

Bahas ye hai ki kaun kitna dhan samete
Dharti ki marne se pehle khaal nochein

Nadiyo ko kaise sukhne se pehle loot dalein
Pashu pakshiyo ke gharon ko cheer dein

Doshi ko kya dosh dein wo to atal hai
Manushya jaati hai iska dimag jatal hai

Sochlega koi raasta koi aur bahana, parantu
Hasyaprad hai doobte ka moh mein geet gana

Pakriti ki vidambana ka kuch aisa asar hai
Kavi bhi visheshyagya ban ke bolta hai

"Aisa karo ki surya ko pakdo ye usi ka kiya hai
Uske krodh se bahot vinaash hua hai!"

Kya kare kavi, woh alankar hi janta hai
Copenhagen nahi manviyakaran se kaam nikalta hai!